If you’re lacking confidence here's three ways to overcome it
A lack of confidence can be the very reason that we don’t go after the things we want.
Sometimes we’re aware of it, quietly running in the background influencing our lives to a meaningful degree, and sometimes we’re not.
All of us have a self-esteem wound that dictates our lives whether we want it to or not. It’s something I’ve written about many times because it’s such a deep wound within me.
And it’s not just from experiences from this lifetime, it’s something I’ve been through many, many lifetimes that has now reared its head to finally be worked through once and for all.
A lack of self-confidence can show up in so many different ways; it could be the fear of starting something new, so we don’t even try. It could manifest as physically hiding away and isolating ourselves from the world, because we’re scared of it and the people in it. It could be staying in situations that we intuitively know don’t serve us but we don’t think we’re worthy of anything better, so we stay.
It’s not just about how good you feel physically, it’s about your emotional capacity for self-love and self-appreciation for all that you’ve been, all that you are and all that you could become.
Coming out of hiding to find your confidence
It’s been a slow and steady lifetime of lessons to learn confidence and I still feel like I’m bumping along having not really got anywhere at all. Yet, when we think we’re going around in circles, we’re actually going around in spirals, circling upwards in increased consciousness and awareness that has a wonderfully positive effect on our lives.
Although we think the energies in our Soul Contract, especially the karma, limit and define us, they are actually opportunities that we can use as a tool to help us expand. We are never defined by anything, anyone or any system, we are only defined by how we think of ourselves.
That being said, in the Soul Contract work there are a few numbers that are all about self-confidence and, wouldn’t you know it, those are the ones I have in my Soul Contract!
The one I love the most is a 3. This is a potent one that I find great joy in working through. It’s all about overcoming the frozen numbness within, that we create as a form of self-protection during childhood, and learning to thaw out our feelings and get to the depths of who we really are so we can begin to share all of our light with the world.
The 3 is all about coming out of hiding and learning to communicate and share yourself. Yet, we can only really do this when we feel worthy of sharing, and most of us don’t, so we hide our gifts, talents and wisdom away, where they are never seen by the world.
A lovely way to overcome this shyness and lack of confidence is to start gently expressing yourself in whatever way feels good. The more we put ourselves out there and try something new, the more our self-esteem grows.
It’s easy to hide ourselves away, thinking we’re not good enough to do something, and believing that this is a way we can protect ourselves and our fragile sense of confidence.
Yet, it’s exactly the opposite that we need to do. We need to gently dip our toes into the water of new possibilities in order to lovingly come out of our shell and realise what we’re truly capable of. We’ll never know unless we try, so we have to try.
It doesn’t have to be anything too big or scary, it could just be reading a new book you wouldn’t normally read, taking a new route when walking somewhere, singing or dancing to your favourite song when we’re on your own, joining a new class, going to a taster event, wearing something new, trying a new recipe.
Little things all add up to big things, so don’t underestimate these little steps and how far they’ll eventually take you, because once you do it once, you can do it again and again and again.
Clearing and healing to overcome a lack of confidence
A lack of confidence, or low self esteem, isn’t something any of us want to have, they’re just sometimes part of our reality, and it’s our individual soul’s mission to reconnect to that pure self-love and self-acceptance within.
It’s also definitely not something that is rational and real. It’s almost like it’s so deeply ingrained within us that we’re aware of it yet can’t get deep enough to dig it out and see it for what it is.
Even though I’ve been helping clients for over 5 years in Kinesiology, and more recently Soul Contract and Divine Healing, I still massively doubt myself and my abilities. Despite the wonderful sessions I experience with my clients, the feedback, testimonials and tangible results clients have had, I still doubt myself and my skills.
As you can see, this isn’t rational, which tells me that it’s a very deeply buried subconscious belief system which is causing this disconnect in my life.
One of the consequences is that even though I am qualified and experienced in what I do, I still feel like an imposter. It’s this feeling that one day someone will point the finger at me and say “she’s a fraud!”. This is a very common symptom of low self esteem that people have at all levels of their careers, even to the high flyers who look completely as ease in their success.
This lack of self confidence can be really damaging when it comes to running a business or working with clients which is why I invest time, money and energy into clearing the unworthiness issues that have come from this life and past lives.
Unless we get to the root of the programming that’s causing us to feel this way, the feeling will never truly leave, which is why clearing them is so vital. Papering over self-esteem issues and imposter syndrome can only take us so far before the cracks start to show, which is why we want to target the core belief structures that are bullying our lives, to truly find freedom and peace from within.
It’s this feeling; deep inner peace, that is the true confidence we all seek.
Learn to love yourself and discover your confidence
One of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn around self-confidence is about looking after my body.
Confidence isn’t about feeling good when we look in the mirror. Confidence is merely a mirror of how we feel about ourselves on the inside. When we love and appreciate ourselves, with all of our flaws, we are in a place of true acceptance and unconditional love and no matter what we look like and what we do, that love remains.
This is what confidence is.
What I’ve learnt is that when we love ourselves we look after ourselves; this is what self-care is all about. When we don’t feel good about ourselves, unworthy and underconfident, we don’t tend to take care of our emotional, physical and spiritual wellbeing because we feel undeserving and unworthy.
Yet, in order to create positive self-value within, we need to look after ourselves on these levels. Our body is the vessel through which we manifest all of our dreams and desires. This is why we need to look after it. And the more we look after it, the more it can serve us to achieve the potential we all have within us.
It’s the same with emotional and spiritual wellbeing. When we value ourselves, we want to nourish ourselves, and this can be in so many different ways; exercise, healthy food, learning, reading, joy, rest, holidays, friendships, love and all of the million and one things that these all encompass.
For most of us, looking after our physical body is one of the most important, yet hardest ones to master. When my self-confidence was low I would punish my body with too much exercise, alcohol and unhealthy food. Yet, as my confidence grows I realise that I want to eat really well, I want to exercise, I want to take supplements and I want to feel good within myself as well as externally.
Yet, for a long time I fell into the spiritual trap of thinking that it was vain to look after your body and your image.
I believed I shouldn’t care about myself and in order to be “spiritual” I needed to let go of any attachment to my image.
Yet, my image is a part of my confidence. It’s not vain to care about our bodies, it’s an act of self-love. As long as we’re taking care of the inside as well as the outside, we’re in balance and balance is what we’re always aiming for.
So, if you’re lacking confidence, check in on your relationship with your body. Are you feeding it well? Are you moving it? Are you taking loving care of yourself? As you start to take care of yourself, notice how your confidence starts to change. It doesn’t take long, and if you start all of these things today, imagine how you’ll feel in 6 months time.
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