4 ways to improve low self esteem
Low self esteem can cripple us, paralysing us into not being able to move forwards in our lives because we don’t have the confidence to do so.
One of the ways this happens is that we don’t believe we’re deserving or worthy of opportunities, people and circumstances that come our way. When we think like this, feeling undeserving, unworthy and not good enough, fewer and fewer opportunities arrive which then reinforces this negative opinion of ourselves.
This is to do with energy. We are all just ripples in a vast interconnected field of energy. We need to be very careful of the thoughts we have because they go out into this energy field - what we put out comes back to us.
Low self esteem can also attract the wrong type of person towards us, someone who observes our lack of self esteem and wants to take advantage of it. I write about poor personal boundaries, how they can physically affect us and where our lack of boundaries comes from, but energy vampires is definitely another topic to explore here.
Once you’re aware of how your low self esteem can attract negative people towards you, you can begin to look around your circle of friends and family and see where they are.
The impact of low self esteem on our wellbeing
Low self esteem can also impact our health which is something that is less talked about.
There is a wonderful field of study called psychoneuroimmunology which measures the impact of neural activity on the immune response in the body. What they’re measuring, in particular, is the way that the psyche - the mind and all the related emotions - interacts with the body’s nervous system and how both of them, in turn, are crucially linked with our immune defences.
In Kinesiology we understand that all emotional stress affects our wellbeing, and releasing emotional stress and trauma that’s stuck in the body so that the body can return to health, is the basis of what we do.
We also understand how low self esteem can cripple our immune response because a constant cycle of negative thoughts about ourselves leaves a huge impact, and the study of psychoneuroimmunology completely supports this.
Four ways to improve low self esteem
There’s lots of advice out there about how to improve self esteem, however, lots of this advice only works on a superficial level. We always want to get to the root cause of any type of symptom in the body, therefore we want to do the same with an emotional condition too.
So, while affirmations and other similar practices are wonderful for self esteem, they only work once we’ve found and addressed the root, because then we can make these practices targeted and focused on exactly what you need.
We need to make a start somewhere, so below I’ve listed four key ways to start the journey to improved self esteem.
1) Become conscious of your thoughts
The first step to tackling low self esteem is to become aware of how you’re speaking to yourself.
Often, our inner voice can be the most critical, harsh and unkind. If this is your inner voice, imagine saying the words you say to yourself to someone you love. Would you ever do that? The answer is probably no. Therefore, why do you say it to yourself, the one person that you need to love and respect more than anyone else in the world.
Catch that critical voice and stop it in its tracks. Once you become aware of the background noises which form the 60,000 thoughts that run through your mind every day, you can really listen in and start to understand what you’re saying to yourself and when.
Are there particular times or situations when the critical voice is louder? Perhaps at work, with a certain family member or even on your own. You have huge power when you become aware of this voice. Get to know when it is loudest because that’s the self esteem wound that needs healing first.
2) Read up about low self esteem
If you had a physical injury, symptom or condition, would you want to understand more about it? Probably. If there is a lack of self esteem, why not read up about why it might be there and what you can do about it. You can change your life at any point you choose and today could be that day.
When you start taking responsibility for yourself, your health and where you find yourself in life, your life changes. Responsibility broken down means ‘the ability to respond’ to your circumstances and your life which is so empowering,
You have the power to change your life completely so why not take the first step by understanding why you’re feeling low in self esteem, where it comes from and how to turn completely change how you feel about yourself.
There are some amazing people out there who talk about it on all the levels of mind, body and soul, it’s just up to you to find them.
3) Start looking after yourself
When you feel better physically, you feel better emotionally.
The mind and body are interlinked and we cannot underestimate the effect of our physical health on our emotional health. So, when we eat badly, choosing processed and sugary foods over the good stuff, our bodies suffer because sugar and unnatural food slows us down, negatively impacting every system and cell in our body.
The problem is, when we don’t feel good mentally, it is very hard to want to eat well and exercise. It’s a vicious cycle that you need to interrupt, because when you do you can really start to make changes. Do not underestimate the impact of this - eating well and moving your body is the most powerful thing you can do to improve self esteem.
The key is to start small and not make the goals too high. Start with just getting out in the fresh air for a walk or thirty minutes of yoga. Go shopping, load up on the good foods and chuck out the crap. You’ll soon start feeling better physically which will have a huge impact on your emotional wellbeing.
4) Let someone help you
We are all guilty of choosing to suffer in silence rather than get help.
We tend to retreat into ourselves, licking our wounds and resisting all forms of help and encouragement. This is partly due to feeling a victim of life and circumstances. When we feel this way, we want to prolong the suffering because it reinforces this notion that life is hard and bad things always happen to us.
Here’s the thing though, life doesn’t happen to us, it happens for us. What you’re going through now has a purpose. Perhaps the lack of self esteem you’re feeling is the low point you need to reach so you can start slowly rising back up to the surface.
Sometimes though, when it all feels a bit much and we don’t think we can every get out of this place we’re in, we need a helping hand. This could be talking to a friend to start, or perhaps working with an energy healer, a therapist or a hypnotherapist. We all want answers about who we are and why we are the way we are. So why not go out and seek them?
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