Seven Steps to Confidence and Self-Acceptance
Confidence isn’t something that comes naturally for many of us.
Often, it’s easy to feel overshadowed by people who look completely comfortable in the spotlight and have no problems going after what they want.
Yet, the reality is that this type of confidence takes time to build. While it may come completely naturally to some people, most of us have to really work at it.
Ironically there is nothing stopping us expressing who we are, going after what we want and showing up in the world, apart from ourselves. We’re the only ones who get in our own way, which can be a really hard pill to swallow but it is ultimately also an empowering one.
If we are the only ones getting in our way, then we only need to work on ourselves to create deeper levels of confidence and self-acceptance.
We all have different life experiences, a lot of which stem from our Soul Contract, that create our reality and impact the way we show up for ourselves. Yet, the path to confidence and self-acceptance is the same for all of us.
And in a world that often measures our worth by achievements, appearances, or how others perceive us, finding true confidence and self-acceptance can feel elusive. But what if these qualities weren’t about becoming something, but about reconnecting with who we already are?
The difference between confidence, self-esteem and self-worth
The first thing I want to dive into is the definition of confidence and the role it plays alongside self-esteem and self-worth. We may think that these all mean the same thing, but they are different.
The understanding of these three ways of describing your value can be easily sorted out by following the principles laid out in the book 'It's Not About Self-Esteem’. In this book we’re shown fundamental differences between them, and how important it is not to get confused.
Confidence is about trust in your abilities and actions. It’s situational and skill-based - your belief that you can accomplish specific tasks or navigate particular challenges. Confidence grows through practice, experience, and mastery in different areas of life.
For example, being confident in your ability to solve a problem or help someone through your work comes from repeated success in those areas.
Self-esteem, in contrast, is often tied to how you perceive yourself in relation to others and societal standards. It reflects your judgments about your own value, often based on external feedback, comparisons, or achievements.
In the book, Risdon critiques self-esteem for being fragile and overly reliant on external factors, which can lead to a cycle of seeking validation rather than fostering authentic self-acceptance. This is where seeking approval through views or likes on social media can have such a negative impact on how we feel about ourselves.
Self-worth is a deeper, intrinsic sense of your value as a person, independent of achievements or external validation. It is the foundation that assures you are enough, simply by being who you are.
Unlike confidence, which can fluctuate with circumstances, self-worth is about recognising your inherent dignity and humanity, regardless of external outcomes. This is the beautiful realisation that we are all worthy of everything, just for the fact that we were born and are having this human experience.
It’s clear to see that self-esteem can be a trap because it hinges on external approval, while cultivating self-worth gives us a far more stable and sustainable sense of self that we can begin to build on.
Seven steps to confidence and self-acceptance
By anchoring ourselves in self-worth, which is the true cornerstone of self-acceptance, we can begin to create a foundation for our personal growth and emotional resilience, and it all begins with coming to deep acceptance of who we truly are.
So, what steps can we take to nurture these qualities and truly embody them in our lives?
1. Recognise your intrinsic worth
Take a moment to pause. Breathe. Feel the life moving through you.
Your worth is not defined by what you’ve achieved, what you’ve failed at, or what others think of you. You are worthy simply because you exist. Let that truth settle into your heart. When you embrace your inherent value, you no longer need to chase validation from others. Instead, you create a solid foundation within yourself, a place to return to when life feels uncertain.
2. Build confidence through action
Confidence doesn’t magically appear - it grows when you show up, even in small ways. We have to take actions, even small ones, to start building confidence one step at a time.
Take one step toward something you’ve been avoiding.
Celebrate small wins, no matter how insignificant they may seem.
Remember, mistakes aren’t failures - they’re just stepping stones to growth.
True confidence isn’t about never feeling fear; it’s about moving forward with courage, even when fear is present.
3. Practice self-love and self-compassion
There’s a part of you that is tender, vulnerable, and in need of kindness. Don’t ignore it.
When you make a mistake or feel like you’re not enough, try speaking to yourself as you would to someone you love. Acknowledge your humanity, your effort, and your heart. Self-compassion softens the harsh edges of self-criticism and opens the door to deeper self-acceptance. If you have the 10-1 energy in your Sou Contract this may feel like a really hard thing to do, so take your time and go at your own pace.
4. Develop your inner awareness
How well do you really know yourself? Take time to reflect on what matters most to you: your values, passions, and purpose.
Journaling, meditating, or simply sitting with your thoughts can help uncover beliefs or patterns that no longer serve you. As you deepen your awareness, you’ll find that confidence and self-acceptance naturally arise from living in alignment with your true self, which is exactly what I support people doing in my membership Your Authentic Soul.
5. Let go of comparisons
It’s so easy to measure ourselves against others. But their journey is not yours.
When you find yourself comparing, gently bring your focus back to your own path. You are exactly where you need to be, and your growth cannot be rushed. Limit time in the spaces, friendships or situations that make you feel less than enough. Protect your energy and surround yourself with reminders of your unique beauty.
6. Choose to live as your authentic self
The world doesn’t need another version of someone else, it only needs you.
Embrace the qualities that make you uniquely you, even the ones you think others won’t understand. Authenticity is magnetic. When you honour your truth, you inspire others to do the same and attract exactly what is meant for you into your life. This is the way the universe works - it is always rewarding ourselves when we step into who we truly are.
7. Nurture resilience
Life will test you, it’s inevitable. But every challenge is an invitation to trust yourself a little more.
When you face difficulties, remind yourself of the times you’ve overcome before. Confidence grows from these moments of resilience, from proving to yourself that you can adapt, adjust, and rise again. And if you need any support to grow your emotional resilience, take a read of my guide - 7 Simple Truths to Transform Your Reality by signing up for my newsletter.
As a gentle reminder, the key to confidence and self-acceptance isn't about fixing yourself. There is nothing to fix. These qualities are about releasing the layers of judgment and fear that hide the truth of who you already are - whole, worthy, and complete.
Take it one step at a time. Be gentle with yourself. And remember, the journey inward is the most important one you’ll ever take.
Stay in touch for similar posts through my newsletter by signing up here or explore Divine Healing sessions to start releasing the layers of judgment and fear that hide the truth of who you are.
