How to start when you're scared of failing
For a while now, I’ve wanted to start a membership. The problem is, I just couldn’t find the courage to do it - until now.
It’s taken me six months of dithering, thinking, planning, assessing, reassessing, and going round in circles to finally get my idea off the ground! And I’m sure I’m not the only one who gets stuck in this cycle, which is exactly why I wanted to write about it and demystify why it’s so challenging to start when you’re afraid of failing.
If you, too, have been wanting to start something new, launch a project, or bring an idea to life, then perhaps a little understanding and encouragement will be just what you need to get it off the ground.
I love writing about courage and confidence, so if that resonates, you can explore more of those posts here. Otherwise, carry on reading, and let’s dive into the fear, self-sabotage, and procrastination that we all know so well!
You’re not lazy - procrastination is fear in disguise
One of the biggest misconceptions is that procrastination equals laziness.
Sometimes it’s easy to feel unmotivated or uninspired, which is a normal part of being human. We’re not superhuman, and often factors like lack of sleep, challenging circumstances, stress, and other emotional influences can stifle our creativity.
We all lead busy, overstimulating lives that make it hard to rest, relax, and receive, which I personally find is the most powerful state for creativity. Instead, I often forget my own wisdom and end up overworking, cramming too much into tight timeframes, and exhausting myself.
On the other end of the spectrum, we can also slide into inactivity - what we might label as "laziness" or "procrastination." This is when it becomes easy to avoid the things we need to do, turning to numbing agents like television or food to ignore how we’re really feeling. We stay in denial and self-sabotage, which blocks our creativity and flow.
Sound familiar? It does to me too.
The real reason most of us slip into dormancy and procrastination is fear. Fear is sneaky and often lurks deep in our subconscious, controlling our actions without us even realising it.
The ego doesn’t want us to see this because then we’d recognise it as a mechanism to limit our potential for love and consciousness.
This is why it’s so important to uncover those fears that have been quietly causing stagnation and inertia. You’re not lazy - you’re just stuck in fear. Once you recognise this, you can start taking action. If there’s two ways to defeat fear, then they are sharing that fear with a friend and taking action against that fear.
So, I challenge you: write down the top 3-5 fears that are blocking what you want to create. For me, it was the fear of burnout, the fear that no one would join my membership, and lastly, a fear that I wasn’t good enough to offer it.
Ouch, times three!
Are you afraid of failure or success?
Recently, I realised that alongside a fear of failure, I also had a strong fear of success.
This isn’t talked about as much as fear of failure, likely because the fear of success hides even deeper within us.
When I thought about starting a membership, I realised I would need to show up, commit, and see it through. Commitment scares me, especially when it comes with the responsibility of showing up for people paying good money for my time and energy.
The fear of commitment and responsibility pushes my buttons (due in part to the strong 8-8 energy in my Soul Contract) - but there’s more.
I’m someone who can’t work around the clock. I already have two roles supporting founders of spiritual teaching and coaching businesses, alongside my own services. Plus, the ungrounded, rushing energy in my Soul Contract makes me prone to burnout if I’m not careful.
So, part of my fear of success stems from a belief that being successful means being busy. This creates inner tension because while I want to be successful, I also don’t want to burn out.
This inner conflict, known in Divine Healing as a Key Psychological Conflict, happens when the conscious mind believes one thing while the subconscious holds an opposing belief. It’s something I love helping myself and my clients clear.
The mind is so adept at jumping to worst-case scenarios without considering the positive effects of success. This tendency stems from our life experiences, Soul Contract energies, and simply human nature.
Instead of letting our fear of success trap us in stagnation, we can learn to challenge the part of us that feels unprepared for what’s on the other side of our creation.
Change is unavoidable yet necessary. The trick is to lean into it, not away from it!
A lack of confidence is really a lack of self-worth
I recently came across an inspiring concept that reshaped my understanding of confidence.
We often use self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth interchangeably, thinking they’re similar. But there’s an important distinction.
Self-worth is not something we need to earn. We are born worthy - it’s our natural birth right, yet often the most damaged part of us. Self-esteem, however, is how we perceive our achievements. Sometimes we succeed and feel high self-esteem; other times, we falter, and our self-esteem dips.
This fluctuation is normal.
However, without a strong foundation of self-worth, low self-esteem can pull us into unworthiness. If we don’t perform well and lack self-worth, we can fall into a spiral of self-doubt.
Finally, we have confidence. Confidence builds when we have a solid base of self-worth and self-esteem. Without these, confidence is superficial.
As you can see, true confidence has many layers. Starting something new triggers these layers, especially feelings of inadequacy.
For me, it’s been a struggle to rebuild these foundations, but through regular, deep emotional healing, I’ve strengthened them enough to build something worthwhile.
If you have the 3 energy in your Soul Contract, as I do, believing in yourself can be especially challenging, creating stress when you want to begin something new.
The 3 energy is about teaching, sharing knowledge, and communicating from within to the world. This is the beauty of the 3: learning our worth and radiating our love and wisdom.
Let go of comparison, lean back and flow
After six months of worrying, overthinking, planning, and chasing my tail, I’ve pinpointed the limiting beliefs, mindsets, and fears that held my membership back.
Here’s what I realised:
No one is judging us but ourselves. If we’re afraid of others' opinions, it’s just a mirror of our own self-judgement. No one is waiting to see how hard we fall; it’s only us. When we realise this, we can quietly start what we want.
We’re also the ones setting expectations and pressures. If we’re stuck in procrastination or perfectionism, the best thing we can do is lean back.
If I had to sum it up, I’d say creativity flows when we relax; nothing needs to be perfect - perfection doesn’t exist. You and I will always be works in progress, but that doesn’t mean we can’t start now. We live in a world where it’s all too easy to compare ourselves to others around us.
Often, we see the highlights of people’s lives, rather than the honest reflections of them. We also tend to see other people’s success without understanding the years of effort and energy they have expended to get where they are.
Nothing is as it seems, and the more we realise that we are all completely authentic and have a completely unique offering for the world, the more we can relax into who we are. And, if this is something you struggle with, then maybe my membership could be just the ticket.
Go for it, believe in yourself, and make that magic happen!
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