ANTONYA BEAMISH

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You don’t need to heal (and this is why)

There is a big illusion at play.

The matrix makes us believe that we need to chase something, and when we don’t get it, we suffer, feeling like we’re lacking, that we didn’t deserve it, that we’re not worthy of the thing we want.

And this is what triggers all of the ego programming to come to the surface, causing us to spiral.

No one needs to ‘heal’. We may need healing, nurturing and support but we are not broken and we don’t need fixing.

We are all perfect, whole and complete just as we are. The only thing that we need to release and clear is the trauma that is stuck in our fields and distorting our vision, making us chase things outside of ourselves.

When we can see clearly we realise that of course we’re worthy of love, of course we’re here on earth to enjoy ourselves, of course we’re not here to suffer.

So, this is what I do. I help people to release the negative beliefs that no longer serve them. Not because they need to. Not because they are less than because they have them. But because when we can see clearly we can begin to see what we deserve.

There is nothing wrong with any of us. Yet, we are all tricked into believing that we need fixing. We don’t. We only need to see. We only need to gain clarity of our true worth and value. We only need to understand that we’re not here to chase anything, we’re just here to be.

There’s so many people out there selling you the snake oil, telling you what you need to fix yourself; from big brands with smooth marketing messages to so-called experts with manipulative sales techniques. Yet, all this messaging does is continually reinforce the subconscious belief that we are not enough as we are.

And I’m done with it.

Feeling worthy and deserving of love

For a long time I had a belief of not feeling worthy of love.

This was because I’d never had a relationship by the age of 27 and I felt like there was something desperately wrong with me. It was a belief I had somehow adopted for all of my 27 years, until I cleared it. And then, of course, I fell in love.

This lack of self-worth and depreciation of my talents has been a recurring theme in my life, forcing my hand and making me accept less than I deserved; whether it was low-paying jobs, toxic people or unlikable men.

This is to do with having two 3’s in my soul contract, which are all about feeling worthy. 3 is a master number so it’s a very tough energy to have in a chart as it’s so strong, and yay I have two of them.

I didn’t think I was good at anything, until I learned that I can hold emotional space for people as I show them what they need to see within themselves, digging deep and pulling things out of them with so much gentleness, love and power, that it can change their life.

This isn’t showing off, this is acknowledgment of a precious gift I learnt about myself, only recently, and it’s something that I am finally learning to put a value on.

Getting back to the basics and leaning into love

When we get back to basics we realise that there is nothing more important in this life than love.

Love is God. Love is the Universe. Love is you and love is me. And love is a worthy companion in this life. It breathes life into everything it touches. We cannot live without it, yet we forget about it in our dogged pursuit of fixing ourselves and chasing dreams so we can finally feel like we’re enough.

We are all worthy of having love in our life, whether it’s a beautiful relationship with ourselves, with others, with God, with nature, with animals, or with anything else that this wonderful life provides for us.

Yet, we forget about this all too easily. We’re told we need to chase things; success, fame, money, validation. But all these really mean are about feeling safe, worthy and loved. We don’t need any of those things but the message on a continuous loop that we need to keep seeking outwards.

I am done with being told I need to do more, to gain more, to get more, to be more, to have more or become more than I am. When we stand up and say “I am enough” and really mean it, then we are fully in our sovereign power.

Yet, I’ve been chasing a dream for 7 years, and that dream has been one of breaking free of the system, so I could be free. With this freedom I thought I could finally find the safety to be myself and to step into my full worth.

These past 7 years have felt like an intense initiation, but I feel like the past few months I’ve been walking through raging fire to realise my worth from within.

I’ve had so many times of wanting to just give it all up. It feels too hard, too painful and I feel like I’ve been sold a lie. In reality, I’m the one who’s been lying to myself. I have chased things, not realising that in the big chase I’ve lost my purpose and I’ve forgotten my ‘why’.

This state of being has kept me in a vulnerable place of always trying to reach for more, never feeling like I have enough and continuously seeking my worthiness through the validation of others.

And it’s when we’re in vulnerable places like these, whether they be with our health, our history or our finances, we are susceptible to believing that it’s someone’s job to save us. It isn’t, it’s up to us. We are sovereign and it is our responsibility to claim that back.

I cannot save you, I cannot heal you and I cannot tell you what to do. What I can do is to help you clear anything that is blocking your vision, hiding you from the truth of how wonderful you are and blinding you to the real purpose of your life here on earth, which ultimately is: to love.

This is my gift, it is my talent, and I love to do it.

Staying in integrity to come back to love

There is an unhealthy illusion in the holistic and wellbeing industry of people claiming to help you achieve all that you desire, when in reality the people who are claiming it are so far from that reality themselves.

And that’s ok, we’re all just figuring it out together. But I will not be someone who loses their integrity because it’s what everyone else is doing. I will be as transparent as I possibly can.

I am talented at clearing the programming that keeps us in a state of fear, suffering and self-doubt, because that’s exactly what I do on my own on a daily basis. But I’m not going to promise you that I have it all figured out.

My god do I not!

What I am clear about is that I have discovered myself, on many different levels, and that has been truly freeing. I no longer look up to anyone as better than me, I have no guru, there is no one who can usurp the own wisdom I carry from my own failings and misjudgements.

In fact, I learn more about myself from my clients than I do from anyone else. They are the mirrors showing me what I always need to see. I learn more from these sessions than I ever really thought possible.

And at the end of the day, we’re all the same, we’re all wanting the same things.

As I said earlier, there is nothing wrong with you, you don’t need to be healed, you don’t need to be fixed and you don’t need to chase anything anymore.

What you can do is to clear yourself of the negative and limiting beliefs that you’ve subconsciously absorbed over the years so you can come back to the truth of who you really are, just like I have. You are love, you are here to love, be loved and love yourself. And that’s really all there is to it.

So, I’m now done with showing myself as anything but myself. I’ll be raw and honest about it, it’s about time.

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Carry on exploring

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