Stop Chasing the Future
As I was thinking about what to write today, I realised that the process of letting go and allowing inspiration to come through me, rather than trying to force it, is exactly what I wanted to write about.
We’re often told to "let go", to "trust", and to "release attachment" to the things we want, and then, hey presto, they will magically manifest in our lives.
What I want to talk about is not the end goal of manifesting what you desire, but how to lean into the journey, knowing there’s no real end goal. It’s all just an illusion, like the many illusions we fall into. Believing that getting what we desire is the key to happiness, fulfilment, success, or acceptance is yet another game the matrix plays with us to keep us locked inside its design.
What I’ve come to realise recently is that reaching a goal in life is like running past the finish line of a 400 meter track race only to find you’re starting a longer 800 meter race.
Reaching a goal can feel hollow if there isn’t a real appreciation for the journey and a deeper ability to lean into the experience and enjoy the gems that come out of it.
Letting go of the rush to find your perfect thing
For a long time, I’ve been in a rush: a rush to finally build a business on my own, without working for anyone else, a rush to create something that’s entirely mine, and a rush to stand on my own two feet with no one else telling me what to do.
Yet, what’s happening in my reality is that the universe is giving me opportunity after opportunity to work as part of a team, with like-minded people who share the same purpose as I do. For a long time, I resisted, wishing I could just work for myself and no one else, but as I begin to soften into this process, I realise that I’ve been so focused on the end goal that I’ve missed the experiences presenting themselves in my day-to-day reality.
It also doesn’t help that I often slip into comparison. I’ve viewed success as something that only involves working for yourself and not for others. Which is, of course, entirely untrue.
What’s more, the world operates through service. We are all serving each other in an endless cycle of giving and receiving.
I meet many people in my line of work who are stuck in a rigid mindset, believing they need to find their life purpose by discovering the perfect career and creating unlimited abundance from it, like all the so-called influencers are doing. And hey, no judgement, this has often been me too!
But when we’re so fixed on this future goal, we actively resist the life we are currently living. If we want to change our lives, we only need to change our inner landscape of thoughts, emotions, and beliefs on a consistent and ongoing basis to create powerful results. We don’t need to set huge goals that set us up for failure, disappointment, and resentment.
Because, trust me, this is no way to live.
As soon as we let go of the "perfect life" we think we ought to be living, we free ourselves to lean into the life we are actually in. We may not like every aspect of it, but if we embrace it, we may just begin to enjoy the journey instead of wishing time away so we can reach that goal sooner.
As I’m sitting here writing this, I’m looking around and thinking there was a time, not too long ago, when I wanted exactly what I have now. I wanted that speaker I’m now using to listen to nice music. I wanted to live on my own and feel the peace I now feel deep within me. I wanted the spare income to allow me to have my heating on, keeping me warm as it rains outside. I wanted someone to love, and now they’re on the other side of my phone, wishing me goodnight.
I wanted it, it came, and life goes on. Now I want new things; my dreams have expanded. Instead of staying in a place of gratitude for the loveliness in my life, I’m already thinking about what I don’t have and what I want.
This is normal behaviour. We want something, we get it, then we want something else. Welcome to being human.
The balance of goals and desires
The key is remembering that having goals is wonderful, and reaching them feels even better. But the goals mean nothing if we don’t absorb the wisdom, experience, and maturity from the process of achieving them.
That’s the real gift and joy of reaching a goal. It’s not about having "the thing"; it’s about having the experience of achieving it and witnessing your emotional resilience grow, your confidence rise, and your appreciation for life bloom within you.
And, of course, the irony is that as soon as we gently let go of needing to reach something, it often comes into our lives much sooner than anticipated. Longing for something often keeps it just out of reach, yet having desires is healthy, as long as they don’t consume us and pull us away from the present.
So, let’s turn this whole thing on its head for a moment.
We all want things. It might be big things like finding the perfect job, a loving and lasting relationship, a dream home or a life that allows us to travel and see the world. Or it might be smaller things like a new dress, a fun weekend away, or winning a client at work.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting things. I want things all the time. Yet sometimes, there’s a sense of shame in desiring things outside of ourselves. In the spiritual world, there is such disdain for materialism and capitalism that we can be hypnotised into rejecting our wants, believing that to desire something is somehow dirty or immoral.
As with all things, there is a delicate balance between scarcity and greed. It’s up to us, in all our humanity, to find that balance and recognise when we want something to fit in with society, to fill a hole of emotional lack, to please others, or to bolster our self-worth, rather than for the sheer pleasure of it.
We all get it wrong sometimes. We buy too much, eat too much, drink too much, or shop too much. But that doesn’t mean we aren’t allowed, or don’t deserve, to enjoy earthly delights. This is why we incarnated on earth in physical bodies: to experience tangible pleasures alongside the less tangible ones.
Finding your joy and sweetness in life
I went through a phase of not wearing makeup because I thought it was vain to care about my appearance, believing it was selfish and self-indulgent to put makeup on my face. I didn’t realise that caring about how we look is just another form of self-love.
The trick in all these examples is balance. I don’t want to avoid makeup out of shame, but I also don’t want to wear too much, masking my appearance from a place of unworthiness.
Similarly, I want to enjoy the occasional treat, like ice cream when visiting Italy or a small glass of sangria in Spain, without slipping into fear that I’m ingesting toxins that will damage my health. At the same time, I don’t want to gorge on these things to fill an emotional void instead of simply enjoying them.
We can misjudge the balance between pleasure and desire because it’s become so distorted in our society.
It’s OK to want things. We are here on earth to have beautiful experiences and witness real wonder in our lives. We live in the most amazingly creative time, and I truly believe we are here to enjoy it, embrace it, and contribute to it.
We all have hidden creative potential inside us, and I believe we are here to add our unique contribution to the world, whether through our words, actions, or physical manifestations.
It’s healthy and necessary to have dreams, desires, and goals, as long as we don’t place all our focus on them and miss the beauty of the present moment.
We are here to let go of the rigidity and pressure we place on ourselves and relax into who we are and what we want. It’s the heavy expectations and lack of balance that drain the pleasure from our lives.
Sometimes, it’s OK to acknowledge that you’re only human and won’t always find the balance. But when you do, life will be all the sweeter for it.
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