As humans, we often face one of two problems - and sometimes both.

The first is that we get stuck living in the past. This means we can’t bring ourselves into the present moment, where life truly happens, because we’re too busy comparing ourselves to who we once were and what we once had.

When we live in the past, our lives take on a tinge of sadness and regret, casting a shadow over us.

The second is that we get stuck living in the future. This is when we become desperate to avoid our current reality and so do everything we can to keep ourselves imagining, wishing, and dreaming of a time when life will be better.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with this, yet when we dream without taking grounded action to make those dreams a reality, the future becomes nothing more than a wisp of ideas on the wind.

What’s more, when we live in the future or the past, we rob ourselves of the opportunities right in front of us.

I wanted to write about how to let go of past identities because I know this can really hold us back from embracing who we truly are in the moment. It traps us in comparison with our former selves and sets expectations we will never be able to reach.

If you find yourself looking back at who you once were, with rose-tinted glasses, then this is for you.

The fear of being seen that stops us from showing up

Most of us have a fear of being seen. No wonder—it’s inherent in our human nature to stay safe by blending in and staying low. We are DNA-wired to stay with the pack and remain embedded in the community, for if we’re on the outside, we’re vulnerable to attack.

While this caveman-like way of living may not resonate so much in this modern age, it is still deeply rooted. If you go against the status quo, you are marked as an outsider—exactly like the women branded as witches and sentenced to death in the 1600s, or perhaps like the French Resistance, who were hunted and killed in the Second World War for fighting back, or even women like Rosa Parks became outsiders in a racially segregated society in America.

Whether we experienced past lives like this or inherited these fears through our ancestral lines, there is often an imprint of that fear lingering in our energy fields.

If you have 7-7 energy in your Soul Contract, it may feel particularly hard to let the mask drop and show yourself for who you are. This goes beyond sharing your likes and dislikes—it’s about showing your vulnerabilities and authentic energy.

A fear of being seen might show up as not wanting to share a passionate point of view with those closest to you, hesitating to show your skills and talents on social media, or avoiding training or a job in a field that excites you.

None of us are made the same; we are each incredibly unique, with our own special skill set, personality, and look. Ironically, while showcasing our differences often marks us as outsiders and can feel unsafe—inviting mockery, judgment, or rejection—it’s the only way for what truly aligns with our energy to find us, whether that’s people, opportunities, or anything in between. Despite the fear of failure, disapproval, or abandonment, allowing ourselves to be fully seen is exactly what we’re here to do.

Comparison and rose-tinted glasses

I love writing about comparison because it’s something I’ve always struggled with. In my own research on myself and the patterns I see in my clients, there are a few ways comparison sneaks into our lives without us realising.

One of the most potent forms is the comparison we hold with ourselves. It’s all too easy to look back at our younger selves and the lives we were living and think about how much better things seemed. Sometimes that life feels easier, simpler, and more fun.

This is especially true for those who have experienced big awakenings or shifts of consciousness in the last decade. When you start to see through the veil of this reality and recognise the matrix for what it is, it can feel heartbreaking. Stripping away the illusion of the world and seeing what truly goes on leaves us with just the truth—and it’s both devastating and beautiful.

It’s at these times that all the healing rises to the surface to be cleared and released, which is never a pretty process. Yet, it is a highly rewarding one.

I can easily look back on my life 10 years ago through rose-tinted glasses and see what I want to see, without fully acknowledging my reality at the time. I was so lost 10 years ago. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and felt stuck, impatient, and restless. I partied too hard and wasn’t very healthy. I didn’t have meaningful, loving relationships in my life and can’t remember actually feeling truly happy with who I was.

The reason we look back and think, “Life was better when…” is because there’s a gap in our lives now that we’re not filling. One of the times I look back on and long for is when I used to go on snowboarding holidays and spend time with my friends.

When I moved out of London and became self-employed, those things stopped. I don’t miss who I was or what I was doing. In fact, I’m incredibly happy with who I am now. I just long for snowy adventures abroad and more time with friends because I miss them in my life, but that doesn’t mean I can’t bring them back.

Here’s the key difference: when we look back at our past identities, we don’t really want to be our former selves—we just want to have what we once had and no longer have access to. When we identify what that is, we can start taking steps to invite it back into our lives.

Embracing your unique self

So, how can we release the past versions of ourselves and lovingly let them go, so we can step more fully into who we truly are in this moment?

The first step in embracing who we truly are is to get honest with ourselves about what it is, within our past identities, that we can’t let go of—and don’t want to let go of.

One of the most important things to remember here is that there is only one version of you. While it may feel like there are past versions of you, you are really just layers of the same person. There is nothing you are losing by letting go of an attachment to who you once were, what you once did, or what you once looked like.

There is only one you. But to come into the truest and most meaningful version of yourself now, we need to gently let go of the attachment to being a certain way. We’re not letting go of ourselves; we’re merely letting go of the attachment.

Letting go of an attachment to our past selves is the best way to create more space and freedom within, to fill with more joyful and expansive energies. But we can’t move through letting go until we address the emotions holding us back.

How to release the past versions of ourselves and feel free

Often, when we want to let something go, there is denial, anger, and grief. Denial hides the anger, and anger hides the grief. So, we need to address the grief sitting in our energy field and lovingly release it. It’s okay to feel sadness for who we once were, but we don’t need to stay in that sadness. We just need to feel it and express it.

One of the best ways to do this is to place a hand over your heart, close your eyes, and tune into any grief that feels heavy in your heart and chest. Your body has all the answers—we just need to give ourselves the space and time to let these emotions rise to the surface.

Our emotions just want to be felt. But because we’re often scared of expressing them, we bottle them up and block ourselves from feeling, just so we don’t have to face the pain.

Yet, it’s amazing how easy it becomes to let these buried emotions flow through us when we open ourselves to the process. They are nothing to be feared, nothing to be ashamed of, and nothing to feel guilty about.

The more you open yourself to how you truly feel, the more you will discover the freedom of being your true self. And, if you’d like guidance along the way, you can join my healing membership, Your Authentic Soul, to gain the tools and encouragement to support you.

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Carry on exploring