We’re in a spiritual battle where normality cannot exist
The ability to live normally right now has never felt so impossible.
No wonder. The definition of normal is defined as conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected.
Well, I am not conforming to a standard and certainly not following the usual, typical or expected. There is no normal for me. There is no ability to live in a cohesive way. I feel as if I am quite literally fighting for my life, which is surreal and terrifying all at the same time. There is nothing normal about that.
As I struggle to hold onto the slippery tethers of reality that root me to the world I’ve always known, I find myself becoming completely unmoored, drifting through a place that is so familiar but no longer real.
In this state of being, it becomes very difficult to find any grounding, normality or sense. Never more so in this topsy-turvy clown show of illusion and theatrics masquerading as reality.
Struggling to exist within an illusion
Once we discover what reality is and what illusion is, our whole world turns completely on its head. Nothing makes sense anymore and finding an anchor point to root us down becomes nearly impossible when up is down and down is up.
I sometimes let go of this anchor and find myself completely losing all sense of sanity. While I’m aware that this is all part of the process, it can feel terrifying, which is why I write.
I write to reflect on my life in the world in the most honest way I can because I know I’m not alone. Being an individual going against the tide of society is utterly exhausting, isolating and disheartening. And I’ve noticed that all those who are grounded in the heart-breaking and painful truth of what we are witnessing, also feel the same.
Every day I speak to people who are fighting against the tide and we mentally lean on each other, like weary foot soldiers, totally spent of energy and weighed down with grief and exhaustion. It is a deeply stressful time.
We are all struggling to live in this fractured existance. Trying desperately to carry on day-to-day living when we are frozen in fear at the horrors we see playing out and cannot stop. We try to push against it and we exhaust ourselves, only realising that we can’t force anyone to see what we see, after many disappointing attempts.
Truth and love break through the fear
We live in reality yet exist in illusion. One that most can’t recognise. It’s this mind-bending existence that makes some days so unbearable that it’s a struggle to know how to keep putting one foot in front of another.
I sleep with anxiety-filled dreams and wake to the dread that we are tumbling head-first into a point of collision and divide, one that has been pre-meditated, against those who are injected and those who aren’t. Yet, for those of us who know the playbook and understand the full extent of what is planned, this is just the tip of the iceberg.
However, while that fear is lingering, quite literally on the periphery of every waking moment, there is also another powerful emotion that rises up. And that is love.
This is the love I feel when I embody truth and connect with those who share it with me. My love for these people, most of who I’ve never met, is so strong that it is an unbreakable connection. My heart literally swells for these conscious, vibrant and beautiful beings who stand up for humanity. They have been life-savers in such dark times and represent the true silver lining of the chaos.
This love is the final tether that keeps me sane and connected. Knowing that I am not drifting alone in this illusion but invisibly supported by millions of others floating next to me. All of us doing our best to survive in the absolute madness.
A conscious community rooted in love
This is something worth highlighting.
When you connect with this conscious community of like-minded thinkers you realise that everyone comes from a different place in the world. Different backgrounds and life experiences. Yet we all have such a powerful thread of divine connection. And that is truth. It unites and powers us forwards against all resistance we encounter.
We share it with love. We invite others to explore it for themselves. We don’t coerce, bully, pressure, manipulate or blackmail. We don’t attack, shame or judge others who don’t see it. We merely invite you to do your own research, question everything and connect with your intuition. We don’t tell you want to think. We invite you to think for yourselves.
Yet, look at those who want to repress this freedom of speech. Those who mock, shame and belittle us. How unconscious they are.
Attack is their best form of defence. When we approach the rotten foundations of their corrupt belief systems with a tiny chisel of truth in our hand, they load their gun with verbal abuse and rat-a-tat-a-tat to scare us away. Their fear is so deep and the flare of their ego so bright, they blind themselves in their ignorance, completely unable to see.
I quietly observe the difference between these groups in society. One, so conscious, loving and open-minded. Inviting you to explore for yourself. The other, so unconscious, negative and closed-minded. Telling you what to think.
I tell these people, “put your ego away, I implore you”.
To not question anything is no longer an option
As a wise friend recently told me, truth is love. And we all know the truth hurts. It is utterly painful and harrowing, which is why so many are turning away from it, choosing to live in closed-minded denial.
I could be closed-minded too, how easy that would be. I’m right, you’re wrong, no debate. Yet, in this life we cannot close our minds to all possibilities, we have to remain so vigilant to blinkered and biased thinking.
To avoid exploring differing thoughts and to shut down any alternative opinions is a dangerous path indeed. It is vital to keep questioning, to keep seeing it from all angles. To be discerning. To be careful.
We have to gently let go of our ego’s need to be right. We have to open ourselves up to doubts, insecurities and humility. We have to question our reality. We have to understand how our subconscious belief systems might be influencing the lens through which we see reality. We have to constantly check ourselves.
This is where the insanity arises because we have to constantly keep questioning what is real and what isn’t. I need to put myself in the mindset of those who can’t recognise the truth, just to understand how information is perceived, and this is where I begin questioning myself. Am I mad? Am I making this all up? Am I in a cult? Am I seeing things that aren’t real?
When I do this the truth pulls me, as if by magnetic force, back to its center. Every single time. I know what I see is real, even when the majority don’t. To not question anything but blindly believe or follow is no longer an option. Whoever you are. Whatever you think.
A spiritual battle where normality cannot exist
I have always known, but perhaps not always shared through fear of judgement, that this is a spiritual battle.
When you are at war, you cannot live normally. You do not have the luxury of having a mental respite from the constant onslaught. You do not have the option of hiding or burying your head in the sand waiting for it to be over. You do not get to switch off your awareness which keeps you tuned in to the constant horror of what you are witnessing. You cannot stand aside and watch as all that you love and hold dear is torn down and destroyed. No one will save you.
You reach a place where you can no longer stand on the side-lines and watch.
Rooted in love against the manipulation and coercion
I feel as if I have one foot in the illusion, tethering me to the last links of the world I once knew, with the rest of my body firmly planted in reality and everything that comes with it.
Once you surface from the unconscious depths from which you’ve been living, you find yourself in a world that is utterly alien yet so familiar at the same time. You start to question everything, which is not only a test of your sanity but a test of your spiritual core.
It takes great strength to stand up against a tide flowing in the other direction, to stand firm against those who try to bend, manipulate and coerce you to do differently. It takes a huge amount of courage to deep dive into questioning all that you’ve ever believed to be right and true.
It also takes a huge amount of love to keep that tiny space in your heart wide open against the ugliness that you have chosen to bear witness to.
To have my eyes so brutally opened to the world as it truly is; the bliss and the horror, the magic and the pain, I cannot live normally. I do not conform. I do not behave in a typical or expected way. I am not usual, I am unusual.
While these actions may paint a target on my back, I know that I am not alone, and every time I connect with a beautiful like-minded, conscious and loving soul, I am once again rooted in love.
