How to stop fear holding you back
I am obsessed with the most beautiful song. Music touches my soul and during this year it’s no understatement to say it’s been a lifesaver for me.
This song in particular speaks about fear, an emotion we’ve all felt. Read the lyrics below or, even better, listen to them here.
There’s a clear message in this song, and it’s one I really take to heart. Fear is something we have let guide us for too far long and hold us back. Is it time to let love take the lead?
How does fear hold us back?
Yet, all I see around me are actions and decisions born out of fear.
Fear limits us and keeps us small. Fear knocks us off our centre so we no longer feel grounded. Safety and survival become paramount, engaging our survival state in the sympathetic nervous system, clouding our judgement and decision-making capabilities as well as suppressing vital rest and repair bodily functions.
Fear freezes us, caging us through our own making. We react rather than respond.
If you haven’t yet read Gabor Mate’s utterly brilliant book ‘When the Body Says No’ I highly recommend it. In it he talks about how stress affects the body and is the root of so many conditions and dis-eases that are so prevalent in society today. It is a phenomenal read and it’s why I focus on stress in my clinic.
One of the most poignant conclusions he comes to is this ‘psychological factors such as uncertainty, conflict, lack of control and lack of information are considered the most stressful stimuli that strongly activate your hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal nexus, the fight-or-flight stress response. AKA a flood of hormones into your system which puts your body on high alert.’
It’s not just external threats such as predators, viruses or natural disasters, it’s also our internal perception that something we consider essential is lacking - lack of control, lack of information, lack of certainty, lack of trust.
How fear and stress affect immune function
Think of the situation we have all been in since March, living in this grey zone of uncertainty, lack of clarity and conflict.
The flipflopping of government policies, the hope then the despair, the isolation from society and abandonment of normality. Just imagine how saturated our bodies are with hormonal activity resulting from constant chronic stress.
It’s this hormonal activity, such as the release of cortisol and adrenalin which influences our biochemical internal terrain, suppressing vital DNA repair mechanisms and healthy tissue repair processes. The result is that stress is the precursor to most pathologies, immunodeficiency diseases and neurodegenerative disorders.
Fear effectively limits our immune response.
So, we know stress is really bad for us and how 2020 has been a hugely stressful year for us all. What we also need to factor in is the fear which lurks behind nearly all surface emotions but is one very few of us like to admit to.
Are you living in a fear frequency?
Fear and stress have become our new catch-22. They each feed the other in a perpetual cycle. Fear vibrates at lowest frequency. It’s the opposite of unconditional love and trust and in this energetic world we live it, whatever frequency you resonate at is the one that comes back to you.
We’re all like little Teletubbies with antennae on our heads giving out and receiving energy. Fear is self-perpetuating and we become stuck in the cycle of it until we choose to break out.
I see people living in fear everywhere, more so than ever in this month. Fear of passing on something that might kill someone. Fear of doing something wrong or not following the rules. Fear of speaking out for fear of exclusion, ridicule and shame. Fear of their bodies, fear of other people’s bodies. Fear of touching, connecting, living. It is soul-destroying to watch from the side-lines.
How to step away from fear
If I could give anyone a Christmas wish or New Year’s intention it would be this. Step away from fear. It limits your mind, suppresses your immune function and lowers your energetic vibration.
Now, more than ever, we need to raise each other up to feel trust and love because the world will not heal until we heal ourselves. I am in awe of anyone who works through their issues, whether with a therapist or on their own, to address where their fears are rooted. This is the time to do it, because you only live this one beautiful life in your incredible body and life is too damn short not to dance.
So here are the reminders I constantly give myself and my fail-safe ways to restore my sense of wellbeing, peace and positivity.
1.Know that it’s all temporary
Whatever is happening right now is happening but it’s not your ‘forever reality’. Think of the sky, it’s grey and cloudy right now which makes it hard to remember that there’s a blue sky and dazzling sun behind it. Be patient, the clouds will eventually clear and you’ll see the blue sky again, trust it’s there, just waiting for you.
2. Use your mind
It’s the most sophisticated and phenomenal apparatus beyond any computer or technology. You can choose your reality. You can choose to feel out of control or fearful, it’s a conscious decision. Make a choice. Do you want to be stressed and fearful or do you want to be calm and trusting? You choose your reality. Make a conscious choice and pull yourself off the fear timeline and onto another timeline.
3. Turn off the news
It is purposely fear-mongering, dramatic and stress-inducing. I know it can be addictive to follow but do you ever come away feeling positive or calm after consuming mainstream news? You will not miss out by not watching, you will be amazing at how liberated you feel, your mood will lift and you will take a healthy step back from fear.
4. Find your positive influences
Find the people and channels which engage and inspire you. There are so many out there who are spreading love-filled messages of hope and positivity. Find the voices that feed messages of love and trust and feel nourished by them.
5. Meditate
A busy, frantic mind is a ripe breeding ground for anxiety. Anxiety comes through our ‘what if something bad happens’ future fears. Quieten your mind and let the peace come to you. You have a core of peace within you and when you access it, really connect to it, you are pulling yourself directly out of your stress state.
6. Break your fear down
What is it really about? Your surface level emotions are never the whole picture, there are always deeper depths that create your top-level emotions. Those fears that lurk in the dark recesses of our mind always shrink under the bright light of observation. They’re not so bad when you truly look at them for what they are.
7. Boost your immune system
Nourishing your body is the most basic form of self-care and self-defence from emotional influences of fear and stress. A calm body creates a calm mind, and vice versa. So, eat vibrationally high foods, hydrate, move your body, sweat, spend time in nature, stretch, take baths, be outside as much as you can. Do things which feel good to you.
8. Find your joy
Surround yourself with people and things that give you joy and feed your soul. Anything that pulls you out of fear and into love is powerful and important at this time, more than ever before. For me this is time in nature, music, inspiring books, animals and yoga. They feed me with love, inspiration and joy.
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