How to live the ancient practice of aparigraha
There are certain spiritual laws which govern our world. These laws define a way to live, guiding us into a space of joy, freedom from fear and abundant love of self and situation.
Yet, most of us are not aware of them. And if we are, it feels like we remember them, before slipping back into non-remembering. Or maybe that’s just me.
The spiritual journey is infinite. There is no end goal, no final destination. It is ever-lasting, spanning lifetime after lifetime to an indefinite point. Yet, we seem to be in a rush to find perfection, safety and happily-ever-after.
It’s the attitude of ‘life will be better when..’ something happens. Whether it be a job, love or something materialistic that we greatly desire.
Longing for something doesn’t help
Yet, when we long for something, we’re actually vibrating at the energy of lack, desperation and attachment. All energetic frequencies that block the very thing that we’re so desperate to attain.
It’s only when we let go of the end result, practicing non-attachment and being totally ok with something not being ‘ours’ that it usually shows up. If it’s meant to.
You know that old expression ‘it will happen when you least expect it’. Well it’s true. In that state of least expectation, we forget about wanting, it’s out of our minds completely, which is the opportune moment for it to be delivered to our door, gift wrapped in a big, shiny bow.
So many things have happened for me in this way. A home to rent. A dog to love. A job to financially provide. As soon as I stop desperately searching, ding, it arrives at my door.
Aparigraha and non-grasping
There’s a beautiful concept called Aparigraha. Translated from Sanskrit it quite literally means ‘non-grasping’. I love the idea of it so much I had it tattooed on my wrist as a constant reminder.
Think about it this way. If we clench something tightly in our fist, reluctant to let go of it, whether it’s an idea or a possession, nothing else can enter. When our fists are so tightly closed, grasping onto what they desire, we are closed off to anything that might be wanting to come in.
If a beautiful butterfly landed on your palm, would you crush it with your fist, so desperate were you to hold onto it? Or would you open your palm, admiring and appreciating its beauty, trusting that if it’s meant to stay it will.
Everything in this world is that delicate butterfly.
The spiritual law of non-attachment
This is the spiritual law of non-attachment. Desire, without longing. Opening up to all that may come, trusting that what we’re seeking is also seeking us. Yet, it’s all too easy, especially in our materialistic-driven world, to hoard and grasp onto ideas or things, thinking that if we don’t get them, we’re failing somehow.
No way man!
The ‘push and strive’ mentality within the self-improvement sphere of influence is so incredibly toxic. The message is this: push, push, push for what you want, there’s no space for losers in this world. Well how about this: try your very best, act with love, integrity and kindness and if it’s meant to be yours by Divine right, it will be.
The concept is called active faith. Knowing that if it’s meant to be, it will. Longing for something is so damn tiring. When you stop, you feel such relief, knowing that there’s no need to grasp, hoard or tightly hold onto something for fear of letting it go. It all comes back to trust. Or faith, whatever you want to call it.
Yet, how easily we all forget.
Self-correction from your soul
Planes in the sky do this really clever thing.
When flying to a destination they have a straight line of flight, but they can easily veer off course. When this happens, an automated system kicks in to steer them back onto the direct route. This is how we work too, we can also drift off course.
We know when this happens because we move further away from love, peace and acceptance of self and life as is, sinking towards depression, anxiety, fear and lack. It really doesn’t feel good and our warning light comes up. Something tugs at us and our innate intelligence kicks in, steering us back towards our true path. Then we drift off to the left, and on and on it goes.
That tug is our soul, whispering to us, telling us to be at peace, to let go or just to remember our true nature of abundance and reminding us that we are unconditionally loved and supported.
When this drift happens, don’t beat yourself up, it’s totally natural. I quite literally reach the point of drift, feeling alone, anxious and resentful before my soul speaks up and says “hey, not that way, remember!” and I slowly steer myself back on course. This is what life is all about. Learning. Practicing. Remembering. Forgetting. Doing it again. And again. And again.
I hear people lament that they feel like they’re going backwards in life in terms of ‘progress’ or ‘success’, whatever those concepts mean (nothing really). But there is no going backwards. There is no such thing as a mistake, only learning.
It’s so horribly cliche but it really does lift the burden of guilt and worry from your mind when you see it this way. Even when you think you’ve taken one step forward and two steps back, you’re actually climbing a multi-dimensional ladder, there’s no such thing as forwards or backwards, there is just continual movement and evolution.
And it’s so beautiful. We just forget its beauty because we try to match it to what our matrix world deems to be successful.
Do not fear ‘mistakes’. They are all part and parcel of life. They are the very definition of living.
To wish without worry
Florence Scovel-Shinn wrote in her book, the Game of Life, that “when man can wish without worrying, every desire will be instantly fulfilled.”
This is not law of attraction stuff, this is a concept that involves all the spiritual laws which are all entangled together. None operate alone, which is why the ‘quick fix’ and ever-so-popular law of attraction garners so much interest yet fails to fulfil. It is quite literally meaningless without a wider understanding of all the divine laws which govern our world.
To wish without worry is the same as to desire without longing. It is the beautiful concept of Aparigraha. Letting go of the end result. Pure non-attachment.
One of my favourite writers, Tosha Silver, has a phrase ‘let what wants to come, come and let what wants to go, go’. It is a remarkable way to live. Yes, you can have desires, wishes and wants. The larder of abundance is ever-flowing. But, be ok with it not working out. Be ok with it not arriving. Be ok with it not being ‘yours’.
And this is an important concept.
We don’t own anything
Everything we ‘own’ is really on loan for us to enjoy and cherish, whether we have it for a minute, a year or our whole lives.
We don’t own our pets, we don’t own the people we’re in relationships with and we certainly don’t own our possessions. They are gifted to us in our lifetime, and once we’re gone they merely melt back into the infinite fabric of our world, disappearing into the ether.
So how do we tiptoe along the fine line of wanting without tipping into longing? How do we relish in the joy of desire without leaning into lack and resentment when it doesn’t arrive.
Practice. This is why we’re here. To embody these truths, to fall into the flow of life and to work within the spiritual laws to live joyously, abundantly and graciously. This is what I believe anyway. It’s all a process. It’s all about remembering, forgetting, then remembering again.
Open your palm and let the butterflies come.
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